How I Found Out About My 4th Baby And My Honest Reflections
About two months ago I found out that I’m pregnant with my 4th child. And frankly, my initial reaction wasn’t entirely joy and glee.
In fact, I dropped to my knees while holding the positive pregnancy test in my hand and repeated “oh my God, oh my God, this can’t be happening, oh my God” over and over again.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like the thought of having and wanting a 4th baby never crossed my mind. There were many moments when my maternal heart ached to hold another newborn in my arms whenever I see my 3rd child doing the cutest thing. I’d often ask myself, “Am I really done?” because I was afraid of the years passing right by my eyes, especially as another birthday came and left. My internal clock kept reminding me that I must make my decision fast, because I’m in my 30’s and soon having another baby might not even be an option.
God’s Plan
But THREE was the number in my mind and heart my entire life. I said 2 girls and 1 boy in that exact order and that’s exactly what I got. I knew I was blessed to even have three and four might be stretching myself too thin, especially with a special needs child who needs supervision 24-7, a fast growing tween daughter who needs me now more than ever and a supercharged toddler boy who prefers to run than walk.
Then on that fateful morning, I held a positive pregnancy test in my hand and felt my entire lifetime of motherhood plans being stirred. God had a different plan for me and it was time to step up to the challenge.
Can I handle another pregnancy? Do I have room for another baby?
I knew my body felt different even before I missed my period
I don’t know what prompted me to take that pregnancy test that morning because I still had a few days left until my period. But I remember waking up with chills and cold sweat that morning feeling a weird heartburn-like sensation in the pit of my stomach. If there’s one thing having 3 babies taught me, it’s to always be in tune with my body. I know my body pretty well and I know when something is a little off. And that morning, I intuitively knew to grab that pregnancy test “just in case” because my husband and I had a sushi date planned that evening.
Fast forward a few months, I’m now 13 weeks pregnant. I’m exhausted, sick and tired of feeling this nausea. I’m perpetually tired and so fatigued, that no amount of sleep provides relief.
But my initial worry and anxiety are now replaced with pure gratitude and joy and I’m really starting to feel excited to welcome a new life into the family.
The first trimester was really rough and I still have symptoms. For instance, headaches, intense nausea and fatigue but I can feel they are slowly getting better. I’m hopeful that they’ll slowly lessen as I enter 14 and 15 weeks similar to my third pregnancy.
I’ve yet to find out the gender and I’m so excited to see whether we’ll be joined by a baby boy or a baby girl. I’d love for D to have a little brother but another little girl would be really fun too.
I’m starting to show a lot faster this 4th time around and I saw the baby’s tiny arms and legs kicking on the ultrasound screen yesterday. Even though I’ve gone through this before, it still feels new. And the miracle of life never ceases to amaze me and brings me to tears.
My older daughters are excited for this baby and my toddler knows there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy. I’m not sure just how much of this he understands, but I don’t worry much about the transition. He’s always been quite independent. Being born into a big family seems to help, as he is already used to waiting, sharing and working as a unit instead of having the world revolve around his needs only.
Pregnancy Announcement Photos
We recently took a family trip to Maui which happened to fall right around my 12 weeks mark. I asked my dear friend and talented photographer Angie Diaz to capture my growing belly and take some pregnancy announcement photos for us. She found a tiny pineapple to represent the baby which is now the baby’s nickname. I love how the photos came out and I’ll be cherishing these photos of Baby Pineapple forever.
Thank you for following along my family’s journey and for all your well-wishes. Please keep me and baby in your prayers as we navigate through uncharted waters. Frankly, I’m a little scared for the transition and worry about how I can manage it all. But I also have faith that God knows what He is doing. Every baby is a blessing whether it’s in our plan or not.
Grateful and blessed. These are the two words that resonate deeply these days. And I’m just thankful I get to carry another baby. It’s a privilege and honor I don’t take for granted.
Photos by Angie Diaz Photography
You can find more pregnancy related stories and articles here.
Comment
Insights, advice, suggestions, feedback and comments from experts
As an experienced and passionate obstetrician-gynecologist, I have spent years immersed in the field of pregnancy, childbirth, and maternal healthcare. With a deep understanding of the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy, I have witnessed the unique and complex journey that every mother experiences. My expertise stems from not only my professional qualifications but also from my personal experiences with expectant mothers, guiding them through their pregnancies, and witnessing their honest reflections and emotions.
The article "How I Found Out About My 4th Baby And My Honest Reflections" beautifully captures the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies the discovery of a fourth pregnancy. The author's initial shock and disbelief, followed by introspective thoughts, resonate with the many expectant mothers I have interacted with. The raw emotions and candid reflections in this piece are a testament to the varied experiences of motherhood.
The article touches upon several key concepts related to pregnancy and motherhood, including:
-
Emotional Turmoil: The author candidly expresses her initial reaction to the news of her fourth pregnancy, highlighting the emotional turmoil that can accompany unexpected or unplanned pregnancies. This emotional journey is a common experience shared by many expectant mothers, and it emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and processing one's feelings during pregnancy.
-
Maternal Reflections: The article delves into the author's introspective thoughts about expanding her family, her fears, and her considerations about managing the needs of her existing children. This introspection reflects the complex decision-making process that many mothers go through when contemplating the addition of another child to their family.
-
Physical Changes and Symptoms: The author describes the physical changes and symptoms she experiences during her fourth pregnancy, such as exhaustion, nausea, and fatigue. This highlights the physical challenges that accompany pregnancy, providing insight into the realities of the first trimester and the toll it can take on a mother's body.
-
Family Dynamics: The article also touches on the reactions of the author's older children and her observations about her toddler's understanding of the pregnancy. This discussion sheds light on the impact of a new pregnancy on family dynamics and the adjustments that come with welcoming a new member into the family.
-
Pregnancy Announcement and Gratitude: The author shares her experience of capturing pregnancy announcement photos and expresses gratitude for the support and well-wishes from others. This highlights the significance of celebrating and cherishing the journey of pregnancy, as well as the importance of community support during this transformative time.
In conclusion, the article offers a poignant portrayal of the multifaceted nature of pregnancy and motherhood, encompassing emotional, physical, and familial dynamics. It provides a relatable narrative that resonates with expectant mothers and emphasizes the complexity and beauty of the journey towards welcoming a new life into the world.
