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AIBU?
24 replies
ihaventseenit · 03/03/2024 13:46
I have never done this before but I have a question. We're going to soft play in an hour. I have 2 dc. Youngest one is five and gets left by older sibling/loses them. Older sibling makes friends with children their own age. Youngest DC doesn't like playing in sp by themselves. I have not yet done this but would I be unreasonable to go into the soft play with them? I only spend the two hours we're there trying to keep track of them anyway, I don't read a book or go on my phone. I don't know if it will look silly if I'm going round it with them? Sorry, I don't know soft play etiquette clearly 
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SinnerBoy · 03/03/2024 13:47
No, just go in, loads of parents do with the young ones. I always did, my wife just left her to it, after the age of 2, but my daughter insisted I came with her.
GiantFootTinyHead · 03/03/2024 13:48
Used to regularly go round with my little one. Everyone did. Whenever I see posts on here about a young child being hurt/hit/pushed over I always wonder where the parents were, do people not go with young children anymore generally?
Dutchairfryer · 03/03/2024 13:51
for a 5 year old I’d say YABU. The youngest child I’ve seen accompanied by an adult in soft play was about 3.
Most are no adults anyway as a general rule!
TinaYouFatLard · 03/03/2024 13:51
You can do what you like but one of the benefits of soft play is giving them a safe environment to explore and be a bit independent.
Bobskeleton · 03/03/2024 13:52
Go in with them, no one will bat an eyelid.
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idontlikealdi · 03/03/2024 13:53
Five is old to be going on with the them
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ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 13:59
Not with a five year old, only with the little ones who are too small to manage the equipment alone. Even that annoys me tbh but I've done it myself when there with a younger sibling. Don't understand people who bring little babies and toddlers without older siblings! Save yourself, you have years of this sh*t to come, go somewhere less awful!
Createausername1970 · 03/03/2024 14:00
If that is what your child wants, then go and play with them.
No point taking a child to an activity then denying them the opportunity to get the best from it. Your child will decide for themselves when they are too old to play with mum. It might be that they just need that bit of confidence for 10 mins or so. You could find yourself abandoned at the top of the slide 🤣
Dutchairfryer · 03/03/2024 14:01
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 13:59
Not with a five year old, only with the little ones who are too small to manage the equipment alone. Even that annoys me tbh but I've done it myself when there with a younger sibling. Don't understand people who bring little babies and toddlers without older siblings! Save yourself, you have years of this sh*t to come, go somewhere less awful!
Where? Where do you go with babies and toddlers that’s not soft play?
comments like these confuse me
Id love to not spend most of my week in pissing soft play but since the weather is sh*t where else to do you take a small child!
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 14:03
Dutchairfryer · 03/03/2024 14:01
Where? Where do you go with babies and toddlers that’s not soft play?
comments like these confuse me
Id love to not spend most of my week in pissing soft play but since the weather is sh*t where else to do you take a small child!
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 13:59
Not with a five year old, only with the little ones who are too small to manage the equipment alone. Even that annoys me tbh but I've done it myself when there with a younger sibling. Don't understand people who bring little babies and toddlers without older siblings! Save yourself, you have years of this sh*t to come, go somewhere less awful!
Ah ok, fair enough, I work FT so never did the whole week with a toddler thing, maybe that's affecting my views on this. But I don't think we've ever gone to a soft play that wasn't for a birthday party, hate them!
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hsar200 · 03/03/2024 14:07
By all means yes! It's great to spend some time with them and play with them. Make sure you encourage them to play independently too though!
TheCraicDealer · 03/03/2024 14:07
It’s strange because when we go to soft play when visiting in-laws in England you would see parents (mostly dads) in with kids in the “frame”, but here in NI there are actually signs up saying that adults are not permitted in/on the play equipment. The play equipment is designed with kids in mind, there isn’t normally the clearance for multiple adults and kids to play safely. We are more claim aware here so I think it’s been decided that it’s more hazardous having adults in the play area than it is risking kids having a fall out or getting hurt from messing about.
I also agree that an enclosed soft play is a good place for kids to learn about playing independently, especially at 5. I can imagine it sort of kills the kids’ vibe a bit to be hovered over by an adult, whether they know them or not. Doesn’t mean you don’t watch or check in with your kids but at some stage you have to taper off constant close supervision.
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 14:19
Oh interesting @TheCraicDealer , I'm in NI too. You would just never see an adult in with a 5yo and I do think eyebrows would be raised. But thinking about the amount of time my sister in England spends at soft play with her baby, maybe the culture is just very different.
bluechameleon · 03/03/2024 14:49
There are usually loads of adult on the soft play with their DC at our local soft play. My two (9 and 6) love it if I come on with them.
SinnerBoy · 04/03/2024 17:46
GiantFootTinyHead ·Yesterday 13:48
Whenever I see posts on here about a young child being hurt/hit/pushed over I always wonder where the parents were, do people not go with young children anymore generally?
Yes, my daughter was bashed when she was 3, by a nine year old. She was holding her down, hammering her with her fist - in the toddler's area. I pulled her away and her mam came rushing over and shouted at me.
Two other mams supported me and said that the girl had thumped their toddlers at other times, The mam of the offending girl got really angry and said that I was prejudiced against autistic kids and trying to exclude her! Apparently, she was just expressing herself.
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89redballoons · 04/03/2024 20:40
I go in with my 4 year old, but he is small for his age and sometimes needs a bit of help climbing up through the big holes and that kind of thing. Otherwise, he'll sometimes gravitate towards the toddler area, and having an older kid in the toddler bit like that is worse etiquette than having a parent in the main bit I think.
Isthisexpected · 04/03/2024 20:44
TinaYouFatLard · 03/03/2024 13:51
You can do what you like but one of the benefits of soft play is giving them a safe environment to explore and be a bit independent.
Or bash into/push over much younger ones whilst you're on your phone. Soft play is a nightmare for people who don't want their kids hit or bullied these days.
Elephantswillnever · 04/03/2024 20:51
Dutchairfryer · 03/03/2024 14:01
Where? Where do you go with babies and toddlers that’s not soft play?
comments like these confuse me
Id love to not spend most of my week in pissing soft play but since the weather is sh*t where else to do you take a small child!
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 13:59
Not with a five year old, only with the little ones who are too small to manage the equipment alone. Even that annoys me tbh but I've done it myself when there with a younger sibling. Don't understand people who bring little babies and toddlers without older siblings! Save yourself, you have years of this sh*t to come, go somewhere less awful!
Do you have any woods close by? They seem to have a mini climate of their own. We used to spend ages pottering around in there, puddlejumper suit or find a pool that does baby swim classes ( not for the lessons but the pools tend to be extra warm so toddler friendly) we used to be members of a beartrix potter exhibition for £40 a year which had these cute vintage toys.
StrawberryPavlova · 04/03/2024 20:52
It can depend on the policy of the soft play place to be honest. We have two near us. One has signs everywhere now saying no adults allowed in the play structure. If your child is stuck or crying in there you have to get a member of staff and they go in and retrieve them. They changed the policy when they reopened after Covid lockdown and it's stuck since.
The other soft play is fine with parents going in with the little ones.
SplitFountainPen · 04/03/2024 20:54
Go for it. Our 8 year old is autistic so always needs one of us always go round with her and have never noticed anyone pay attention.
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RichinVitaminR · 04/03/2024 20:56
YANBU, I've seen lots of parents go in with young children and 5 is still little really. I can't see why anybody would mind!
AuntMarch · 04/03/2024 21:00
I only have one dc. Usually its a playdate situation so he's fine, but we went to one in half term just us and he was a bit wary, so I went in with him.
They aren't my favourite places but he was so happy having me "try to catch up with him" that it I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would lol. He is 4.5
RichinVitaminR · 04/03/2024 21:01
ColleenDonaghy · 03/03/2024 13:59
Not with a five year old, only with the little ones who are too small to manage the equipment alone. Even that annoys me tbh but I've done it myself when there with a younger sibling. Don't understand people who bring little babies and toddlers without older siblings! Save yourself, you have years of this sh*t to come, go somewhere less awful!
I took my DD when she was 5 months old during toddler time as she was learning to roll and loving doing so and it was quiet. We currently live in a poky new build house and don't have the privilege of a decent sized space for her to play in. Having said that, I've only taken her once and hated it. The space was great but she seemed a bit too interested in everything else going on to do a huge amount of rolling (I'm a FTM so at this point it's all trial and error). Can't see the problem anyway. As long as she doesn't obstruct any of the equipment for other children, who actually cares?
Notastripper · 04/03/2024 21:08
SplitFountainPen · 04/03/2024 20:54
Go for it. Our 8 year old is autistic so always needs one of us always go round with her and have never noticed anyone pay attention.
Same with my DS, he's 7. I've not really thought too much about it as there are always loads of adults on there. All of the soft plays around us allow it. Great for shy kids too I'd imagine as you can set off with them then slip away if they find a friend.
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